Going back to work.My maternity leave comes to an end tomorrow as I go back to work for the first time since giving birth to Mio. I definitely have mixed feelings. Of course, I can’t help but have some reservations about leaving Mio to go work, after spending virtually every moment of the past three and half months with her. I already know I’ll experience some separation anxiety and constantly wonder how she’s doing while I’m at the office. I feel sad and guilty that I will likely miss some moments in her development and growth. At the same time, though, a part of me is relieved to be going back to work. During the past few weeks, I’ve found myself craving some more human interaction with grown adults, with people who can actual talk when I speak to them. I love Mio and cherish the time I spend with her, but there are definitely moments as a new parent when I feel overwhelmed with stress as well as feelings of exasperation and frustration. Every parent feels suffocated at some point. My cousin once told me that it’s important to have some time away once in a while, since it will make you appreciate your children more and your love for them will grow. I think that for myself personally, having part of my pre-Mio life back will give me balance and a sense of normalcy which will help keep me sane. As rewarding as the experience of motherhood is, I want to continue to pursue my passion that I’ve worked so hard for. I want Mio to grow up to follow her dreams and know that as a woman, you can have both a beautiful family life and the career you dreamed of. What better way to show her than by example? I’m very goal-oriented and feel that I’ll always need to work in some capacity — whether it’s in an office for a company or at home as a freelancer — to feel fulfilled. I don’t consider this selfish, and I think that I’ll function better as a mother for Mio. A happy mommy is a better mommy.

Thankfully, I won’t be completely sacrificing the majority of my time with Mio, nor will I have to worry about whether or not Mio is in good hands. My boss has been very gracious and flexible in working out a working schedule with me in which I would only go back to work part-time, three days a week, instead of a full five-day work week. We’re also very fortunate that Dan’s mother has volunteered her time to come to our home and care for Mio during the days that I’m at work. I love and trust my mother-in-law, so I know she’ll take very good care of Mio and we won’t have to worry about Mio suffering any shortage of love and affection.

I’m very grateful for the past three and a half months I’ve had to bond with Mio and watch her grow. It’s been such a joy, and I feel so lucky to have had that time with her.

Wish me luck tomorrow — it’ll definitely be difficult to part with this little cutie!

smiling wide!

Such a cute sleeper outfit!

Mommy and Mio

Whether at work or at home, Mommy loves you very much! ♥