Dear Baby,
I can hardly believe that in less than two months, we’ll be able to finally meet you and gaze into your sweet little face. There are some days that I feel like you’ve been a part of me forever, and then there are others when I feel like it was only yesterday that we first found out that you would become a part of our lives.
There are a million questions that have been running through my head. What will you look like? Will you be tall and lanky like Daddy, or short and petite like Mommy? Your eyes will surely be brown, but will they be almond-shaped like Mommy’s or sharp and inset like Daddy’s? Will you inherit his big ears, or my short button nose? Will your hair be sleek and straight like Daddy’s, or unruly and wavy like Mommy’s?
Whatever you look like, I know that in our eyes, you will be nothing but beautiful.
What will your personality be like? Will you be laid-back and relaxed like Daddy, or a perfectionist and control freak like Mommy? (Daddy and I are both hoping you don’t inherit my worrywart tendencies.) Will you have Daddy’s logic, or will you tend to be driven by emotion like Mommy? Will you be more technically inclined like him, or will you find your joy and comfort in words and art as I do? Will you be calm and gentle in nature, or have a fiery temperament? Maybe you will have traits that come from neither one of us.
These are all things I look forward to discovering in the years to come.
Will you be Daddy’s little princess, or Mommy’s little helper? As a little girl, will you sneak into my closet to try on my clothes and makeup? At what point will you start thinking you’re too cool for us? Thirty years from now, will you be dialing my number every other day just to talk and hear my voice, as I do with my own mother?
Only time will reveal the answer to these questions.
I know motherhood will be a humbling experience, and I know it will be the most challenging adventure I’ve undertaken yet. You will change our lives forever. There’s a part of me that is downright terrified and wonders how Daddy and I — who are barely adults ourselves, who live for sleeping in on weekends, having silly fun, and enjoying the freedom of living on our own terms — will be able to manage becoming parents and not completely make a mess of your life. We’re venturing into completely unknown territory, and I would be lying if I said we are entering into it without any anxiety and fears. But something tells me that everything will be okay. We’ll get by with what we know, what we’ve been reading, and the help and support from those around us — and of course, we will learn so much along the way.
There is so much that I want for you, that it’s impossible for me to pen it all down.
I want you to learn that your beauty will always come from who you are on the inside, and that nothing can turn you ugly as fast as when you act ugly from the inside.
I want you to have inner strength and determination, but at the same time compassion and empathy for others.
I want you to learn to work hard and fight for what you want, but be able to accept a loss with grace.
I want you to be sincere, sweet, and charm the pants off of everyone you meet, but at the same time I want you to protect your heart and be careful about who you decide to trust.
I want you to let your imagination run unbridled and free… along with all of your hopes, ambitions, and dreams.
But more than anything, I want you to always know how much you are loved.
Dearest Baby, I can’t wait to meet you. I’ve always wanted to be your Mommy. Even years ago, when parenthood was a concept that was too foreign, too far in the future, and scared me to death… I always knew that someday I would be your Mommy. You were a distant dream — and now you are a reality. I’ve stared at your ultrasound pictures hundreds of times, because they’re the only tangible visuals I have of you. You remind me of how real you are with every kick, roll, and jab that you give me consistently every day these days.
Daddy is counting down the days, too. The knowledge of your existence has opened up his world, and shown me a whole new side of him that I had never seen before. My heart melts when he rubs my belly and talks to you — telling you eagerly of all the things he’s going to teach you and show you. I can’t help but chuckle when he tries to serenade you with his off-key voice, and when he reads you the baby books we’ve prepared for you. I wonder if you can hear him? To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of a Daddy he would be, because he has always been so awkward and clueless when it came to dealing with children. But I am sure now that he will be the best Daddy for you. He has been taking such good care of me, and I can see now that he will do the same for you… and probably more.
Someday, decades from now, you too will have someone to call your own… whom you will love, cherish, and can’t imagine living without. Someday, I will tell you the story of us.
Dear Baby, I can’t wait until two months later, when I will finally be able to hold you in my arms instead of just in my heart. I love you so much.
— Mommy
Bill
February 14, 2011 @ 7:17 am
This is so touching Misono! Hope you’re doing well and wish you guys the best!
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:06 pm
Thank you! 🙂 It’s been a while; hope you’re doing well.
stef
February 14, 2011 @ 8:54 am
this made me tear up!! you have a way w/ words.. =)
i can’t wait to meet your baby too! you guys will be awesome parents for sure!!
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:07 pm
Thank you Stef! We’re just counting down the days now…
Happy Valentine’s Day! 😀
Komy
February 14, 2011 @ 9:39 am
Misono-chan, this letter made me all teared up! Although I never met you in person, I can tell from reading your blog that you’re a wonderful person and that you will be an awesome mother! 大変ãªã“ã¨ã‚‚ã‚ã‚‹ã ã‚ã†ã‘ã©ã€é ‘å¼µã£ã¦ã。NJã‹ã‚‰å¿œæ´ã—ã¦ã¾ï½žã™ï¼
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:06 pm
You’re so sweet! 嬉ã—ã„コメントã‚ã‚ŠãŒã¨ã†ï¼é ‘張りã¾ã™â™ª
theskyiscrying via Livejournal
February 14, 2011 @ 10:04 am
:’)
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:30 pm
🙂
Miyoung
February 14, 2011 @ 1:36 pm
omg Misono you are such an amazing momã… ã… Thanks for sharing that I am so touched <3
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:06 pm
Aww I hope so! Hope your wedding planning is going smoothly. 🙂 So excited for you!
beccastewart via Livejournal
February 14, 2011 @ 1:50 pm
I love it!
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:30 pm
I’m sure we’re sharing a lot of the same sentiments! 🙂
Jodie
February 14, 2011 @ 3:39 pm
Very touching <3
Misono
February 14, 2011 @ 8:06 pm
Thank you ♥
Tea
February 15, 2011 @ 12:48 pm
This is so beautiful. Wow, I’m teary. You’re going to be a wonderful mommy, Misono.
Misono
February 16, 2011 @ 10:25 pm
Aww thank you Tea! 🙂
I hope that I’ll be a good mother — I know you will be a fabulous one someday, too! You and Jesse will be the coolest parents!
hyo
February 15, 2011 @ 7:22 pm
Your words eloquently describe something that is so heartwarming and often hard to put into words. It humbles, inspires and fills our hearts with hope. Thank you so much for sharing.
Misono
February 16, 2011 @ 10:26 pm
Thank you Hyo! ♥
In a way, it was sort of a letter to myself as well to help organize my thoughts and all the overwhelming feelings I’m experiencing right now. I’m glad that it was inspiring for others, too. 🙂
Brian
February 15, 2011 @ 8:10 pm
D:
brb- I’m gonna call my mom now.
Misono
February 16, 2011 @ 10:27 pm
hahaha* Boys definitely need to call their moms more often! I know my brother doesn’t call my parents enough, even though he lives so close by them….
Ann Helen
February 16, 2011 @ 9:13 am
Oh, Misono!! This is so beautiful!! I’m crying now! You and Dan will be amazing parents, you already are! You should show her this letter when she gets a little older. She’s so lucky to be your daughter! I can’t wait to meet her too 🙂
Misono
February 16, 2011 @ 10:29 pm
Thank you Ann Helen! Ahh, I’m sorry it made you cry. We hope that we will be decent parents. It’s still such an unknown world for us, so we don’t really know what to expect but we hope we will do okay. 🙂
And I know you are going to the best mother ever when it comes time! You’re such a sweet friend; you’re going to be an even sweeter mommy! 🙂
Ramya
February 16, 2011 @ 9:49 am
Misono, this is beautiful =) You always have such grace and poise in the way you convey what’s on your mind and in your heart. I can already feel how loved and lucky this baby is and look forward to see how your family grows together. <3
Misono
February 16, 2011 @ 10:31 pm
Thank you for the kind words Ramya ~ I’m totally undeserving of them, but putting my thoughts into words has been helping me organize all the overwhelming feelings I’m experiencing lately. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for our family as well! 🙂