We’ve all been through it. The unrequited yearnings of the loves we let slip through our fingers that have since gone far, far away beyond our reach. Â I am not talking about that childhood sweetheart nor your high school crush. I’m talking about those times that you are out shopping and you find an item you absolutely love, but leave it behind because you decide to shop around and check out other fish in the sea, or wait for it to come off its pedestal and go on sale. Then, before you have a chance to revisit it, it’s sold out everywhere and has forever escaped your lustful clutches, and you find yourself smacking yourself on the head and cursing that moment of frugal sanity that came between you and the dress, shoes, or purse of your dreams.
I am currently still hurting from the latest pangs of “non-buyer’s remorse” after falling under the charms of this gorgeous darling… the Mirelle Tote from J.Crew.
She was an online exclusive, and when I first laid eyes on her, I was immediately taken with her sweet grosgrain ribbon, vachetta leather handles entwined in gold chain, and luxuriously soft, buttery slouch leather. The dusty pink color is one of my favorite colors, and I knew that the purse had to be mine. But having just paid my taxes, I wasn’t ready to shell out $228 for her right then and there… so I decided to exercise some frugal impulse control and wait it out a little bit. Every so often, I’d check the site to see if she went on sale, and then one day, she was gone. Sold out. No longer in stock. Reading the words, “We’re sorry. This item has been so popular, it has sold out.” was so heartbreaking, it almost caused me physical pain.
The Claudette Tote, also from J.Crew, would have served as a comforting alternative at $175 — although still a bit pricey in my mind — but alas, she too is sold out.
Personally, I believe non-buyer’s remorse is more palpable and does more psychological damage than buyer’s remorse. When you make the mistake of making a regrettable purchase, at least you can undo it by returning it if you kept the receipt, or at least alleviate some of the guilt by giving it away to a friend or donating it to charity. With non-buyer’s remorse, there’s no undoing; it’s out of your control and there’s not much you can do about it except to mourn the loss and eventually move on with your life and hope that you will eventually meet a worthy replacement to fill the gaping void that has been left in your heart.
I hate the feeling of non-buyer’s remorse. Sometimes, if I like something enough, I even consider buying a back-up version for the future, especially if it’s something that will wear out and break over time, such as a pair of shoes I can’t live without or my favorite model of headphones. I had a pair of earbuds that I loved from Skullcandy, which broke and then when I sent it in to get replaced under the warrantee, they sent me back a pair of their newer ones which were not nearly as nice as the older model. They also broke after having an even shorter lifetime than the first pair, and I had to scour eBay to find the original model. I considered buying a back-up pair but Dan stopped me, and I just know I am going to regret not doing so in a couple years…. When The Body Shop launched their Cherry Blossom line (which, may I add, is so much better than the Bath & Body Works lines), it was only supposed to be seasonal and for a limited time so I stocked up on three bottles of lotion… and then the bastards decided to keep selling it (I’m still on my second bottle and won’t need to go back for a while). This is how obsessive compulsive I am when it comes to some of my purchases; it may sound crazy to others, but to me it’s just planning for the future.
The vanished purse been haunting me for the past couple weeks, and will likely continue to for weeks, months, perhaps even years to come. I’ve already checked eBay and other sites in hopes of finding her, but with no luck. The other purses on J.Crew just don’t compare; they look ugly and plain in comparison. A more rational person may just dismiss it, concluding that it was just not meant to be, but I can’t stop beating myself up about not following my initial instinct and indulging in the purchase. Perhaps someday, I will find just as lovely a purse that will grant me some cathartic release from this trauma I’ve suffered, but until then I will continue to pine after The One that slipped away….
P.S. Jenna Lyons, if you are reading this, please please please bring that purse back…?
saya
May 15, 2010 @ 12:05 pm
im totally like that too =D i have a backup pair of my fav shoes!!
i love how the purses match the colors on your blog… lol
Misono
May 16, 2010 @ 12:52 am
Backups of shoes are important! I once found these uber-comfy flats, and I ended up getting them in three colors… that was a little overkill.
Yes! The colors of the purse are the colors I love using in design, too! 🙂
Sang
May 15, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
oh my gosh, girls….
Misono
May 16, 2010 @ 12:54 am
It’s a big deal! 🙂
bestest
May 15, 2010 @ 10:04 pm
oh no! nonbuyers remorse is the worst. maybe jcrew will bring another bag in a similar style since it was so popular. i notice they tend to do that (have seen them do that with popular sold-out coats).
Misono
May 16, 2010 @ 12:54 am
I know, I hate the feeling. 🙁
I hope you’re right and that they bring the bag back. It’s really cute! 🙂
bestest
May 16, 2010 @ 5:18 pm
and when they do bring it back you know that you def have to get it 🙂 i’ll keep my eye out for one!
Misono
May 16, 2010 @ 11:44 pm
Yay! Thanks bestest!!!
I wish we lived close so we could go shopping together. 😀
BTW, let me know the details about when you will be in Santa Clara in June. When I saw Greg the other weekend, he said he wanted to see you too so we might drive down together to meet you for dinner. 🙂
Estella
May 16, 2010 @ 10:23 pm
That’s right. I’m commenting to this post. Who woulda thunk it?
First of all: I second Sang’s comment–hah! Then, my second thoughts are: okay fine, although I don’t have these experiences often, I tooottaalllyyy remember the few products I regret not getting!
The one that comes to mind the most was this BEAAUUTTIFFULLL silver + some-sorta-reddish-gemmed butterfly necklace! Why can’t I get it now? Well, I saw it at a jewelry shop… on a CRUISE! Sad face! I don’t think I’ll ever run into the same necklace again :~( I know what you’re thinking now: Estella? Butterfly? That’s right.
Regarding non-buyers’ remorse, Brent would likely advise: just buy it. Hahaha
<3
Misono
May 16, 2010 @ 11:45 pm
LOL, Thanks for commenting, Estella!
I kind of laugh at myself too about how hung up I get on some of these shopping finds I’ve let slip away… it causes me such anguish sometimes though! haha*
A butterfly necklace? Could it be one of these…? I’ve honed my online shopping and sleuthing skills for situations like this. Maybe if we look hard enough, we can find it! 😉
The tote is still pretty expensive in my head, but if it ever does come back in stock, I’m grabbing it without a second thought!!!
Haj
May 23, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
My wife had a similar thing happened to her recently with another bag that went out of stock online. I did a bit of research on eBay, found it, and got it for her surprise birthday present;) May be you might have a similar luck in a near future?
Misono
May 25, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Wow, that was so thoughtful of you! I bet she was really surprised and overjoyed at the same time! 🙂 Unfortunately, Dan would rather discourage my retail indulgences rather than support them… lol.
Maybe I will find it on eBay myself though. Going to keep checking… 😛
Wendy
June 3, 2010 @ 6:55 am
The Mirelle tote came back on .com this AM in the Sale – There appears to be 2 left! Hurry! 🙂
Misono
June 3, 2010 @ 2:52 pm
I just saw your comment and went on the site to see if it was there, but alas, it was already gone. :'( Items do seem to make phantom appearances here and there, so hopefully it’ll come back again and I can catch it!
Thank you for letting me know though! That was very thoughtful of you. 🙂